Jane's World by Paige Braddock

Jane's World

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  1. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, almost 4 years ago

    ‘I saw my life flash before my eyes … I think it was mine … I spent a lot of time out of my head…’

  2. jmcx4

    jmcx4 said, almost 4 years ago

    Your condition wasn’t too bad back then, Kenny. Now that you’ve had that face lift, weeellll…..

  3. uh-oh

    uh-oh said, almost 4 years ago

    Beards need to be lifted?

  4. Vic

    Vic said, almost 4 years ago

    @Bruno Zeigerts

    Cold spasms shook them, lights danced sickeningly around them. The cold hard shore tipped and span and then stood still. It shone darkly - it was a very highly polished cold hard shore.

    A green blur watched them disapprovingly.

    It coughed.

    ``Good evening, madam, gentlemen,‘’ it said, ``do you have a reservation?’’

    Ford Prefect’s consciousness snapped back like elastic, making his brain smart. He looked up woozily at the green blur.

    ``Reservation?‘’ he said weakly. ``Yes, sir,’’ said the green blur.

    ``Do you need a reservation for the afterlife?’’

    In so far as it is possible for a green blur to arch its eyebrows disdainfully, this is what the green blur now did.

    ``Afterlife, sir?’’ it said.

    Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath.

    ``Is this the afterlife?’’ he stammered.

    ``Well I assume so,’’ said Ford Prefect trying to work out which way was up. He tested the theory that it must lie in the opposite direction from the cold hard shore on which he was lying, and staggered to what he hoped were his feet.

    ``I mean,‘’ he said, swaying gently, ``there’s no way we could have survived that blast is there?’’

    ``No,‘’ muttered Arthur. He had raised himself on to his elbows but it didn’t seem to improve things. He slumped down again.

    ``No,‘’ said Trillian, standing up, ``no way at all.’’

    A dull hoarse gurgling sound came from the floor. It was Zaphod Beeblebrox attempting to speak. ``I certainly didn’t survive,‘’ he gurgled, ``I was a total goner. Wham bang and that was it.’’

    ``Yeah, thanks to you,‘’ said Ford, ``We didn’t stand a chance. We must have been blown to bits. Arms, legs everywhere.’’

    ``Yeah,’’ said Zaphod struggling noisily to his feet.

    ``If the lady and gentlemen would like to order drinks …’’ said the green blur, hovering impatiently beside them.

    ``Kerpow, splat,‘’ continued Zaphod, ``instantaneously zonked into our component molecules. Hey, Ford,’’ he said, identifying one of the slowly solidifying blurs around him, ``did you get that thing of your whole life flashing before you?’’

    ``You got that too?‘’ said Ford, ``your whole life?’’

    ``Yeah,‘’ said Zaphod, ``at least I assume it was mine. I spent a lot of time out of my skulls you know.’’

    He looked at around him at the various shapes that were at last becoming proper shapes instead of vague and wobbling shapeless shapes.

    ``So …’’ he said.

    ``So what?’’ said Ford.

    ``So here we are,‘’ said Zaphod hesitantly, ``lying dead …’’

    ``Standing,’’ Trillian corrected him.

    ``Er, standing dead,‘’ continued Zaphod, ``in this desolate …’’

    ``Restaurant,’’ said Arthur Dent who had got to his feet and could now, much to his surprise, see clearly. That is to say, the thing that surprised him was not that he could see, but what he could see.

    ``Here we are,‘’ continued Zaphod doggedly, ``standing dead in this desolate …’’

    ``Five star …’’ said Trillian.

    ``Restaurant,’’ concluded Zaphod.

    ``Odd isn’t it?’’ said Ford.

    ``Er, yeah.’’

    ``Nice chandeliers though,’’ said Trillian.

  5. Buggerlugs

    Buggerlugs said, almost 4 years ago


    Brevity is not one of your strong points, is it?

  6. Lamberger

    Lamberger said, almost 4 years ago

    Succinct and germane isn’t he.

  7. SusanSunshine

    SusanSunshine GoComics PRO Member said, almost 4 years ago


    Cut these labels apart and stick them on your life, so if one ever flashes past you again you’ll know whether it’s yours…..

    RedKid's Image Hoster

  8. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, almost 4 years ago


    I was referencing HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy(VIC got it) but I like your comment anyway.

  9. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, almost 4 years ago


    I was hoping someone would pick up on that, even if I didn’t get the quote right.

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