Frazz by Jef Mallett


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  1. simpsonfan2

    simpsonfan2 said, about 4 years ago

    And some teachers operate the surface to air missiles.

  2. Jenn

    Jenn said, about 4 years ago

    Excellent comeback, Frazz.

  3. Nabuquduriuzhur

    Nabuquduriuzhur said, about 4 years ago

    Probably an eagle’s eyeballs. People have said for years that I point out things in the woods and desert that they missed.

  4. Varnes

    Varnes said, about 4 years ago

    simsonfan, a good teacher can shut somebody up at 50 paces….

    GoldenRoya, good comment. It sometimes doesn’t always seem like it at the time, but most teachers or professors wouldn’t teach it if it wasn’t relevant……..They have way too many other things to teach….

  5. Pacopuddy

    Pacopuddy said, about 4 years ago


    Do you need them, then?
    I would have a lemur’s prehensile tail, but growing from my right ankle. The when I was on a horse, I could use it to hold onto my left ankle, so I wouldn’t fall off. Plus, I could tickle people’s legs secretly on the bus, and they wouldn’t know what had happened and would look at the person next to them and edge away (or not! – maybe I shouldn’t do that), and I could type extra fast with the tail and fingers on the keyboard. I would also use it to make question-marks over people’s heads in photographs (instead of those ubiquitous rabbit’s ears you see all the time) and to gently stroke the dog when she wants a cuddle but I am busy with other stuff.
    I would also like tusks, because they are worth a fortune, and when I wanted some cash I could have a bit removed (under anaesthetic – I’m not an idiot!) and cash it in. They would be self-renewing tusks, like a shark’s teeth, so I would never be skint again.
    I hope those scientists get this stuff put together soon – I can hardly wait!

  6. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, about 4 years ago

    Given the internet, the types of “parts” should, perhaps, be specified.

  7. celecca

    celecca GoComics PRO Member said, about 4 years ago

    wow. never looked at it that way. cool.

  8. wbtthefrog

    wbtthefrog said, about 4 years ago

    Interesting use of contrast to frame the speech bubble in the bottom center panel.


    USAFMSGT said, about 4 years ago


    Or maybe a cliff.

  10. T_Lexi

    T_Lexi said, about 4 years ago

    Yay, Frazz! Great answer : )

  11. fritzoid

    fritzoid GoComics PRO Member said, about 4 years ago

    I don’t think I’d want a tail, prehensile or otherwise. It seems like it’d be cumbersome, particularly since I don’t want to give up wearing pants. Same goes for antlers (minus the issue of pants). A pair of ram’s horns could be dramatic and effective, though.

    Wings seem like an obvious answer, but they would require a RADICAL change in physiology to actually enable flight (if you take bird wings you either lose your arms or your talking a complete overhaul of the skeletal and muscular systems, but insect wings might be an option; either way, you’ve got issues of size).

    Nabuquduriuzhur, I wouldn’t be so quick to trade in the eyes I already have. Humans already have really good eyes for our purposes, and what you gain in acuity over distance you might lose in, say, color perception. Or perhaps an eagle’s eyes function somewhat like the dinosaurs’ in Jurassic Park; maybe what they see is the slightest movement over great distances, without registering qualities.

    I think the olfactory system of a bloodhound would be worth at least a test-drive. It would allow me to experience thw world in a whole new way (although I’d hope that a dog’s ability to enjoy such a wide variety of scents would come with the package).

    If we’re including animal parts that shouldn’t be mentioned in the presence of children, consider the echidna (spiny anteater). It would take time to get used to being a monotreme, but “three heads are better than one”…

  12. underwriter

    underwriter said, about 4 years ago

    Like Sarah Bernhardt, I’d like a leopard’s tail, although she wanted it for expression and I would just be happy with the balance improvement.

    Also “becoming one with the cat” that way would probably be less painful than that guy’s experience who wanted to “become one with the tiger” – and darned near did.

  13. underwriter

    underwriter said, about 4 years ago

    Oh, yes, and isn’t that the first positive thing Frazz has said about Mrs. Olsen? I know it’s few and far between.

  14. fritzoid

    fritzoid GoComics PRO Member said, about 4 years ago

    Feet like an orangutan. I’d give up the wearing of boots for that.

  15. packratmac

    packratmac GoComics PRO Member said, about 4 years ago

    Since Caulfield considers himself a pilot who needs no instruction, remember not to fly THAT airline!

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