Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau

Doonesbury

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  1. leftwingpatriot

    leftwingpatriot said, almost 3 years ago

    Jeff has a lot of birthdays.

  2. Linguist

    Linguist said, almost 3 years ago

    I sure hope Jeff’s wasn’t the same day as mine. I at least could say that Johnny Carson and I shared the the same birthday and number of ex-wives. He just was much more talented and had more money !

  3. leftwingpatriot

    leftwingpatriot said, almost 3 years ago

    @Linguist

    Jeff was actually born on December 31, 1982.

  4. too-zonked

    too-zonked said, almost 3 years ago

    “…moment alone with my mansion.”

    He just used that same line on Monday. I’m all for recycling to make the world a better planet, but somehow I feel cheated.

  5. DylanThomas3.14159

    DylanThomas3.14159 said, almost 3 years ago

    Did no good to call Dad. Call Zipper? Text Zipper?

  6. TheSnoopster

    TheSnoopster said, almost 3 years ago

    @DylanThomas3.14159

    Call. I hate to text!

  7. simpsonfan2

    simpsonfan2 said, almost 3 years ago

    At least I have the same one as Al Gore and not the Shrub.

  8. Stipple

    Stipple said, almost 3 years ago

    The cause of the unpaid bills?
    Have we been enlightened with the details and I missed them.
    Of course it is book sales, but how bad and why was he not told?
    Or was he warned and the warning stayed with the Red Rascal, never making it into Jeff’s mind?
    Oh, the suspense.

  9. Rational Anarchist

    Rational Anarchist said, almost 3 years ago

    He’s a male version of Kim Kardashian, no talent, no skills, just an inflated view of himself and belief in his imaginary world. AKA Romneyism

  10. DylanThomas3.14159

    DylanThomas3.14159 said, almost 3 years ago

    Jeff wrote a “graphic novel” manuscript about his daydreams as Red Rascal and his horse Petraeus in Afghanistan, drawing on his CIA experiences there. He presented it to Becca Bickle at Random House. She recognized that it would sell,at least to readers with certain “tastes”. She used her considerable influence as a top book editor at Random House to convince their book publishing committee to accept it. Since the book was already complete when he made his pitch to her, he was not given an advance. But Becca was right, and it did sell, giving Jeff perhaps 20% of gross sales price, enough for him to make a down payment on a mansion and another on a new Porsche. However, sales slacked off prematurely. (If Jeff had listened to Becca, she would have advised him to keep living in his parents basement till he had amassed enough money to buy a house outright (not the $100 million one he got conned into buying, but a more modest one he could afford (in case his sales nosedived). Same strategy for buying a vehicle — get a Toyota Corolla, not a $100 thousand Porsche.


    But Jeff, wanting to rub dad Rick’s nose in it — not to mention reeling in “babes” like so many salmon — splurged anyway. (Imagine Becca rolling her eyes but keeping her peace.) When sales went south, Jeff could no longer afford the payments. The rest is history, as we are seeing right before our baby blues or baby browns.

  11. DylanThomas3.14159

    DylanThomas3.14159 said, almost 3 years ago

    @DylanThomas3.14159

    Still, don’t sell Jeff short. He IS talented and he IS capable of churning out another potboiler. And “Red Rascal’s War” is colorful enough to go into movie production without too deep an investment in a professional Hollywood screenwriter. So, if the idiot had played his card right, he could have been well on his way toward significant, if not great, wealth.


    But noooooooo! Jeff has to be Jeff and blow it all. Becca, who seems more interested in him (guess why!) than even his own father, could even at this late date, guide him into greener pastures. He may yet make a pile off of a movie and another graphic novel. But will he invested the proceeds wisely? Not if Jeff has anything to say about it. (He needs a conservatorship curator with an accountant who boasts a sharp nose and an even sharper pencil. Not to mention a computer spreadsheet.)


    But noooooooo!


    Remember the great late Amy Winehous, the tiny London songbird with the towering talent? She sang what could be Jeff’s song (if he had any sense):

    They try to make me go to rehab, I say no, no, no.
    Yes I’ve been black but when I come back, you’ll know, know, know.
    I ain’t got the time, and if my daddy thinks I’m fine.
    He’s tried to make me go to rehab, I won’t go, go, go.

  12. DylanThomas3.14159

    DylanThomas3.14159 said, almost 3 years ago

    Have no frear for Becca Bickle and Random House (RH). They just plowed its share back into the company (for Becca’s salary, for instance.) Not only did RH not blow through the money as Jeff did, but they made a substantial profit off of Jeff. (Nor ever fear: He’ll never see a penny of their money — a deal’s a deal, Bubba.) However, if Jeff wants to be “the comeback kid”, he could no doubt do another one. RH has nothing against sucking more juice out of Jeff, then kicking the corpse to the side of the pike.

  13. Astolat

    Astolat said, almost 3 years ago

    I don’t think GT ever thought that either of these days was Jeff’s birthday. Jeff just thinks it’s a line that might work. Both repo guys have heard it all before and simply did their job.

    And DT Pi; given your name I’d expected you to quote this lyric…!

    Once upon a time, you dressed so fine,
    You threw the bums a dime in your prime,
    Didn’t you?
    People called, say “beware doll, you’re bound to fall”;
    You thought they were all kidding you.
    You used to laugh about
    Everybody that was hanging it out.
    Now you don’t talk so loud,
    Now you don’t seem so proud
    About having to be scrounging for your next meal

    How does it feel? How does it feel
    To be without a home,
    Like a complete unknown,
    Like a rolling stone?

  14. stellablu122

    stellablu122 said, almost 3 years ago

    This is the American Dream folks. It the bottom. Your only way is up unless you are part of the 47%. Please welcome its newest member.

  15. DylanThomas3.14159

    DylanThomas3.14159 said, almost 3 years ago

    @Astolat

    When I first heard Bob, I was a fan from the first time I heard this radio hit. Same with Gimon and Sarfunkel, or whatever they called themselves back in the day. Dylan Thomas, of course, was a poet sans guitar and harmonica.

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