Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for April 27, 2012

Transcript:

a walmart detective story the long adios i was in my office belting out a memo when my boss appeared. and he wasn't wearing a walmart smiley face. chief: here's the case i want you to investigate: a whistle-blower has presented overwhelming evidence of extensive corruption here at walmart. hero: right, chief. the papers sang like a canary. a vast system of bribes from walmart executives to mexican officials that endangered the environment and the mexican legal system. and very against american law. i was just the guy to get to the bottom of this. not only am i a walmart executive, i was one of the key people accused in the bribery scheme. i went straight to the top, and didn't pull any punches. hero: did you bribe mexican government officials? no! are you lying, punk? no! i swear! dammit, i believed myself. it didn't add up... hero: i've got it! i denied any involvement, so the whistle-blower must be lying! boss: what a relief! otherwise, i'd have to inform U.S. authorities! hero: no sweat, boss. case closed. when the collar of the crime is white, the rich get richer, and the big guys never go to the big house. walmart de mexico i'm a corporate investigator. I carry the cabbage. and i deliver the results my boss wants. end