Monty by Jim Meddick for December 23, 2011

Sorry, cutbacks in the household budget to account for the bocce ball court.

monumental disaster.

Bah humbug indeed. Global financial crisis. Master Sedgie can still hope for a stimulus package as all governments seem to throw good money after bad for no reason other than being reelected.

You’re not dead yet, Master Sedgwick! There’s still time for you to reform your ways and embark upon an alternate future (notice how the years of birth and death are obscured—all we can see is that you were born on 7 February 20-something and will—in this timeline—die on Christmas Day, year unknown). —Or is that asking too much, that you should measure up to Ebenezer Scrooge?

how ’bout buying a private island to inter the body?

^ And doing it all right now…

I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Master Sedgwick! Set up your own funeral plan yourself! Tomorrow morning!

Thank You Very Much