Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 03, 2010

Transcript:

Phone says, "Deltsouth Airlines? how can I help you?" Rat says, "Yeah. I'd like a ticket for Monday from L.A. to Chicago." Phone says, "That will be $195." Rat says, "Great. I'll take it." Phone says, "Will you be checking any luggage?" Rat says, "Yeah. One bag." Phone says, "That will be an extra $25." Rat says, "For what?" Phone says, "Baggage fee." Rat says, "Baggage fee? That's ridiculous." Phone says, "Sorry, sir. And how much does your luggage weigh?" Rat says, "I dunno. Sixty pounds or so." Phone says, "That's an extra $75." Rat says, "An extra $75?! Are you @#%*#%@ kidding me?!" Phone says, "No, sir, I'm not." Rat says, "So what's my total now?!" Phone says, "$295." Rat says, "$295?!... Why don't you just charge me that in the first place and do away with this stupid charade?" Phone says, "I'm sorry, sir. That's how we do it now. Just one more quesiton." Rat says, "What?!" Phone says, "Will you be wanting any wings?" Rat says, "You mean, like, chicken wings to eat?" Phone says, "No, no. Wings on the plane. They're $100 extra." Rat says, "AAAAAUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Phone says, "If it's any help, our planes with wings fly sooooo much better." Rat says, "@*#%@*@ airlines..." Phone says, "And will you be needing an airplane engine?"