Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for May 22, 2004

Transcript:

News of the Times Bush Discovered to be Evil Cyborg Kerry Still Lags in Polls At a G.O.P. fundraiser, an errant butter knife accidentally sliced President Bush's face, revealing him to be an evil cyborg. Bush: Yes, I'm an evil cyborg programmed by subterranean mutants to destroy America. I accept responsibility for that... ...But not any blame or negative consequences. Senator Kerry was unable to make any political hay over the revelation, as he had his own imbroglio over what he did with his medals for heroism 30 years ago. Kerry: I never said I threw seven medals, I said I threw several ribbons... Bush vigorously defended his record. Bush: You have to ask one question: is the world better off without Saddam Hussein? Just ask that one question! Do not ask any other questions! Vice President Cheney, revealed last week to be a brain-craving zombie, faced the press. OoP: The democrats are suggesting that the horrifying and catastrophic events of Bush's term could be related... Cheney: They're politicizing the fact that the president is an evil cyborg! It's shameful. American voters seem to agree, and still favor Bush over Kerry. Guy: Kerry seems sorta wishy-washy. Imagine how he could mess things up if he were president.