Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 24, 2009

  1. Madkanga
    madKanga  over 14 years ago

    Good one, Wiley. My pet hate is the ones that suggest that “your baby/family is in danger if you do not use our product”

    Ones that just target my own insecurities (which are many) I can handle.

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    jimmywfl  over 14 years ago

    The original book on marketing said, ~”our purpose is to make people unhappy and think that our product will make them happy again.”

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  3. Destiny
    Destiny23  over 14 years ago

    The stages of product development: Step 1 - Invent a new product. Step 2 - Invent a need for the product.

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    cdward  over 14 years ago

    I preach a sermon now and then where I say the first ad was in Genesis - then I compare the story of the serpent and Eve with pretty much any commercial. Works like this:

    Chat them up to seem friendly (serpent: “Nice trees, huh? Can you eat it all?” Eve: “All but the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good & evil. We’ll die if we eat that.”) Create doubt about one’s worth (serpent: “You won’t die if you eat it. You’ll just be like God. As it is, you are NOT very godlike.”) Supply a “cure” for that doubt (serpent: “But if you eat the fruit, you’ll be just fine.” Eve: “Oh, okay.”)
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    nonsequitous  over 14 years ago

    Step 1 - Invent a new product. Step 2 - Invent a need for the product.

    Heh. Saw a documentary about an ad campaign once. They started with the look and feel of the ad campaign, then worked backwards from there. The last step was the product.

    I’m not kidding.

    the first ad was in Genesis

    I’d say God was the first real estate agent - “You’ll love it here - trust me! Just stay out of the orchard. Too many snakes.”

    And the first yenta. “She’s a really nice girl, Adam. And an arm and a leg, my services shouldn’t be costing you.”

    One of CarTalk’s puzzler’s once was about an ad man who promised to double sales of a certain retail home product for his client by adding one word to the label.

    Any guesses? Name the product and the one word.

    No fair posting the answer if you already know.

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    DolphinGirl78  over 14 years ago

    Too early in the morning to rack my brain to find answers to anything right now… lol

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    davecancer  over 14 years ago

    The reason I read comics is that I DON’T have to think!

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    grcoyne48 Premium Member over 14 years ago

    This could also work for Extenz adds. To which women might say “Welcome to our world”.

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    ds133  over 14 years ago

    I don’t know the product, but was the word ‘new’ or ‘improved’?

    I never actually got why those words are always paired on products. “It’s new and improved!” And then I try to figure out how they could possible have improved something when its new.

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    Plods with ...™  over 14 years ago

    scare tactics have been around for years….I had a life insurance salesman ask me if I wanted my family to remember me fondly.

    I told him I wanted them to remember me as I am …

    A Pr!^&…

    He left.

    Sorry, I don’t remember who I stole the line from, Carlin maybe? but it worked.

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    wicky  over 14 years ago

    Destiny 23 said The stages of product development: Step 1 - Invent a new product. Step 2 - Invent a need for the product

    one more step Step 3 - Invent “new and improved”.

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    crlinder  over 14 years ago

    Back in the day, Cincinnati had a great independent rock station, WEBN, which did some great satire. One of their best was a series of fake commercials for Brute Force Cybernetics, “The company that creates a need and then fills it.”

    Wiley would have fit right in as a writer for them.

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    GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago

    Well at least they don’t have to invent gullible people. There are plenty of them already out there.

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    puddleglum1066  over 14 years ago

    Wiley, you’re slipping behind the times. Modern marketing has figured out how to get the sucker–I mean, consumer–to not only pay for the product, but to pay up front for the ad as well. Consider, for instance, those extra-cost “services” that let you watch movie trailers and other ads on your cell phone. Yep, pay an extra monthly fee for the privilege of seeing ads. Wow, sign me up… and while you’re at it, shove the old Crayola Oblongata all the way up into my frontal lobes, Dr. Moe…

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    johndh123  over 14 years ago

    Great stuff! How about this one from a past quipster…

    “Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need. ”

    Will Rogers

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    gjsjr41  over 14 years ago

    Good ole Will;

    As good now, as he was then.

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    lazygrazer  over 14 years ago

    Someone wisely dubbed false advertising as “the permissable lie” years ago. I couldn’t agree more.

    I also agree with the idea that false advertising got it’s jumpstart in the Garden of Eden….and now here we are madly trying to purchase our way back.

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    bmonk  over 14 years ago

    @madKanga, I think the epitome of that was the recent spate of ads that claim (for your kids, who are threatened by the evil germs), “A cleaner world is a better world,” when there is recent evidence that “a cleaner world,” free of anything for the immune system to cut its teeth on, is in fact a world that promotes allergies, asthma, and other serious problems.

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    Potrzebie  over 14 years ago

    quadruple razor shavers. What a concept. SNL did a skit on triple head shavers back in the day.

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    johndh123  over 14 years ago

    Potrzebie said, 10 minutes ago

    “quadruple razor shavers. What a concept…”

    I know I know, but, sob, I confess, those dang multiple bladed, sniff, shavers DO work better….sob, honk! (crying because they cost so much!)

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    alfracto  over 14 years ago

    Wash your head Roger.

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  22. Hawaii5 0girl
    treered  over 14 years ago

    “Strawberry Shortcake” anyone?

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    mjlew01  over 14 years ago

    “If you drink this beer, you’ll lose weight and bang beautiful wmoen on the hood of your porsche”

    that one is a staple of the modern world

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    hendelca Premium Member over 14 years ago

    So - what was the product and the word???????

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    ChukLitl Premium Member over 14 years ago

    I want to sue Rogain, The Hair Club, et al, for creating a hostile environment by implying that there’s something wrong with being bald. A family history of baldness has provided me with a keen ability to recognize snake-oil salesmen.

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    bmonk  over 14 years ago

    Potrzebie said, about 4 parodies ago

    “quadruple razor shavers. What a concept. SNL did a skit on triple head shavers back in the day.”

    I remember when double blade razors became popular, there was a spoof with a five-blade razor. Little did they know…

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    gfecher  over 14 years ago

    Best shave I ever had was from a cheap BIC single blade with a bar positioned just in front of the blade. Wish I could still get that razor.

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    kat827618  over 14 years ago

    Nose Hitt!

    That’s why I got rid of the TV, threw out the magazines and catalogs, and ignore the movie industry –all very easy to do.

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    Leebradley Premium Member over 14 years ago

    Joe Allen Doty:

    The word translated helper is ezer, which is a masculine form. However that is a statement of the problem. In the statement of Eve’s creation in verse 22 it says He made a WOMAN and brought HER. Woman is the translation of ishah which definitely means woman and a feminine form. Her is a translation of a feminine pronoun. Ish could be person or man depending on the context. Just like the English we learned in the olden days, a masculine “he” is definitely used of a man and can be used of a person who could be male or female. Yes, Adam means human.

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  30. Hawaii5 0girl
    treered  over 14 years ago

    friend of mine told me this (he was bald): god created all heads, with some he was pleased, the others he covered with hair

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    madbard  over 14 years ago

    what is this “sign-off contest” thingy? is wiley calling it quits?

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    Trebor39  over 14 years ago

    Mix some substance with high promise, bottle it, and you have a snake oil the gullible will always buy.

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    HabaneroBuck  over 14 years ago

    Joe Allen Doty…as Wiley has written maybe a hundred times, this particular strip is not even about religion or politics, so why all the spewage? And I say spewage not out of a blasphemous tone, but out of the fact that you are a long-winded apostate. The Christ left Jesus so he could die on the cross? Pure nonsense…

    Anyway, I don’t even like Non Sequitur, but this is a good one.

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    pbarnrob  over 14 years ago

    Been reading (finally, slow going) John Kenneth Galbraith’s The New Industrial State (1978 ed), where he talks about precisely this problem (and may be part of why he fell out of favor with the corporatocracy!)

    Make a swell campaign, get it all ready to launch, then put together some product to put in it. It’s not about the product at all, it’s about controlling the (otherwise scary) pricing and costs of the market. You have to be big enough, to get away with it.

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    Ushindi  over 14 years ago

    Wiley: I didn’t see anything at all about religion in your cartoon - did I not understand something?

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    locoboilerguy  over 14 years ago

    Its the new substitute for politics in the comments. Great toon.

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    nicholmike  over 14 years ago

    Repeat

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    nonsequitous  over 14 years ago

    I did NOT bring up the subject of Religion. Someone else did!

    But I do believe that Wiley has repeatedly asked that people not proselytize about their religious beliefs here. I see several dozen lines from you doing just that. IMHBIO, Someone else merely bringing up the mere subject in general is no excuse.

    As a faithful pagan and Satan worshiper, I do not appreciate being subject to long screeds about others’ relligious beliefs when I come here looking for jokes about caniballism, bald heads, megalomanic world-domation-seeking bad-pun-making social retards, talking horses not named Ed, and the right to arm bears with meat cleavers.

    So please, do as WIley has repeatedly asked, for Ch- er, for Go- er, for pete’s sake.

    Or I might get really cross next time. And nobody wants that.

    What? No, I was not talking about St. Peter. It was another Pete. My … Uncle Pete. Believe me, he warn’t no saint. Ask his PO.

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    slowflyer  over 14 years ago

    I think nickolmike is correct about the word. The product, of course, is shampoo

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    Jocko84  over 14 years ago

    Oh, I thought it was Electrolux, and the word was “really,” as in: “Electrolux REALLY sucks!”

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