Monty by Jim Meddick for December 13, 2017

Well, squirrels do collect nuts for the winter.

Actually, squirrels do not carry rabies.

Squirrel Bait !

Go buy a tree from a tree farm Monty and leave that one alone.

Really? No one’s going to say it? OK, then…

SQUIIIIRRRRELLLLL!!!

It’s a vampire squirrel!

Reminds me of the Far Side cartoon where Dad is standing next to a felled giant redwood, pointing out a ring to his son, “…and here’s where the old fellow survived another fire.”

It’s just defending it’s territory.

[Read in a slow, British accent] “The wild spruce grows alone against the harsh Winter backdrop. But what’s this? A predator approaches. Ahh, but fret not, for the rabid squirrel is the spruce’s natural defense mechanism. The spruce lives to see another day, while this predator will think twice before again freezing is @$$ off in the snow for last minute Christmas preparations…”

I have seen squirrels in elms and oaks, but never in small evergreens.

Why would Monty try to cut down a tree with a hacksaw?…

Squirrels of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but witless vandals who would destroy your homes!

Monty, go to the mall. Buy an aluminum tree. Be done with it, you wannabe Wilderness Master!

Why does that squirrel’s face look so much like Fleshy’s?