Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 03, 2017

Pig, you should have:

RUN THEM OVER!!!

RUN THEM OVER!!!

Oh, to be driving a steamroller…

Hey, even cyclists have got to keep up their energy when having a picnic.

The city next door is planning some such nonsense for next Spring. With the way the crazies in charge there have been screwing with traffic flow for the past 8 years or so it’s getting dangerous to drive into town. Fortunately there’s nothing in there of any interest to me anymore so I can drive around that pile and go places out here in suburbia that have some value. Glad I escaped there 20 years ago!

Good thing it wasn’t Rat. He would have cut up the cyclists, and stolen their apples.

…and THEN he would have run them over.

Don’t be speciesist.

For once Jef beats Victor the Vegan in the obnoxiousness sweepstakes.

Normally they just do it anywhere they want. I have far more close encounters (running stop signs/lights, wrong way on one way streets, ignoring cross walks, etc) as a pedestrian with cyclists than cars.

Everyone seems to have forgotten the simple fact that cars are bigger than bicycles.

Kinda surprised the Comic Censor didn’t make an appearance for “tough turds”.

“Share the road” doesn’t mean “Let me take over the road”.

I ring my bell to let people know I’m coming behind them on the path and they are shocked that I’m not a Jef.

Pig: if they make you hold a whole apple in your mouth, run!

I think of this scenario whenever I’m on an Interstate that says “Minimum Speed 40.” You might just as well invite people to pitch a tent and have a picnic.

if they’re not riding outboard of the white line where cars are supposed to be, they’re ignoring other traffic controls, thinking they are pedestrians. well ive got news for you, you are required to follow the same rules as autos when riding on public roads. that goes as well for crossing the street at crosswalks RIDING their cycles, not WALKING them as they are supposed to do when crossing traffic AS A PEDESTRIAN. the sign depicts a PERSON WALKING, not a CYCLIST CYCLING. you think that you can just dart out in front of traffic and expect them to stop for you. whatever happened to waiting your turn or an opening in the traffic? no, they just push the button to trigger the flashing yellow lights and stagger away, struggling to keep the bike upright when strarting off to cross. let me warn you; if you are IN the crosswalk walking your bike across as you should I will stop for you. DONT EXPECT ME TO STOP TO ALLOW YOU TO CROSS UNLESS YOU ARE ALREADY IN THE CROSSWALK. (horn blaring, 4 barrels wide open….) you’re out there for recreation, I’m on my commute to/from work. get out of my way.

“Tuff Turds”???? Where’s the comic censor?

There are probably more bad drivers than bad cyclists, because there are more drivers than cyclists overall. Percentage-wise, I suspect there are more bad cyclists.

When I saw a male cyclist with two children on a local trail, stop, dismount, and have his kids get off, so all three could walk their bikes across a busy street, I wanted to applaud the man for teaching his children the rules of the road.

I had the right-of-way (no stop sign and they hadn’t entered the crosswalk yet.) What I didn’t do was slam on my brakes and wave them off the curb. That would simply piss off the driver behind me AND reinforce bad behavior in the cyclists.

We are all out there together.

Once, while sitting at a red light on a busy intersection, I saw one of these Jef the Cyclist types run said red light without bothering to look or slow down. As he did so, he cussed at the drivers who had the green light and the right-of-way.

As a resident of Oregon, let me just say LMAO

I have given up cycling on the main roads. Most of the cyclist I have seen think the rules of the road do not apply to them, only to motorized vehicles. I would like to see mandatory licensing for cyclists as well as registration fees to help pay for the roads they ride on. Perhaps with better education, we would get better cyclists. Unfortunately, too many cyclists have a “holier than thou” attitude and therefore think they deserve special dispensation. It has definitely gotten worse over years. In the 1970’s, it was the motorists that were the a**holes, now it is the cyclists. Come on everybody, obey the laws and share the road.

Maybe it’s my imagination, but Jef seems to be looking a tad doughy these days. Must be transforming into a slow fat bastard … probably from all those picnics.

Cyclists are so bloody rude.

All right, All right… Not ALL cyclists!

xxx

Shouldn’t Rat be offended by “tough turds?”

Near me is a park with walking paths. It is next to a bike path and the cyclists come race around the park forcing the walkers off the path before heading back to the bike path.

It’s bad enough making left hand turns without cyclists coming out of nowhere on sidewalks glaring at you for using “their” road.

A picnic in the middle of the road?

Rat can make the road pizza.

⊙

Cue the Beatles:

Why don’t we do it in the road…

Such a wuss, Pig! You should have got back into your car, revved it up, put it in gear, and run Jef the Cyclist and his picnic-mate over! Then, have backed up and done it again! And again! And again! And once more for very good measure!

That would have been your Good Deed for the day….

You know, there are a lot of other roads that are not designated bike routes. You could always—and I know this is crazy, but hear me out—use one of those roads instead.

Luckily for those cyclists, Rat isn’t driving..

Yeah, I’ll cut up your apples all right. And stuff them up your… nevermind.