Tom Toles for April 26, 2017

John Carter will pay!!!

The entire nation will pay. In ways both monetary and visceral.

MIXED METAPHORS – {a rhyme}

Trump boils up a bubbling stench

{from stews of healthy ingredients bereft},

and messes things up with a monkey wrench

{not delicate tools used in manners deft},

and coaches his game with a third-string bench

{of players who lack intellectual heft}.

The swamp is not drained. He’d rather entrench

the reptiles who engage in yuuge-scale theft.

He wrestles us down with a choke-hold clench.

We should replace him with a prez from the Left.

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He lied then, he lies now! No difference…

“Guess who he’ll say will pay for his Mars expedition?”

Aliens, of course.

I vote for Ray Walston! They can get residuals from “My Favorite Martian!”

“Oh dear! Delays, Delays! K-9, get me the Illudium Pew-39 Explosive Space Modulator! We need to blow up the Planet Earth before they invade! They are making me angry! Very, VERY Angry!”

I think Tramp is the alien, probably one of those reptilian hybrids.

GONG ‘EM – {a rhyme and an image}

So MUCH is going wrong.

Trumpism heads headlong

to abject disaster ‘ere long.

We mustn’t let it prolong.

Give it the Gong Show gong.

http://www.dorriolds.com/wp-content/uploads/barris.jpg

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Trump’s master plan is to have the Martians pay for the Mars expedition.

The American tax payer will pay Trump directly. He will dig some post holes and walk off with our money. That wall will never get built, but we will still pay for it. Americans, not Mexico. Tax payers, not the rich.