Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 25, 2016

Nothing funnier than a pun about mother killing.

I just know I’ll get the treasury this one will end up in and below it Pastis will have a comment about someone complaining about him showing a gun being fired.

should have saved this one for Mother’s Day

Mattress-ide. Oh, boy. Time to clobber Pastis again for his lame puns.

Maybe the mattress deserved it. It shouldn’t have been up and out of the bedroom, sneaking up on Pig like that.

I thought Matricide was removing those Do Not Remove This Label labels from mattresses..

Pigs with guns….are they joining the cows?

Pastis-cide is what I put on the lawn to keep the grubs away

It gets worse…the shooter begged for mercy because he’s now an orphan!!

MATTRESS LIVES MATTER!

Er is altijd wat met Ciske de rat…

I once had a neighbor who performed mattress-ide “for practice.”

would you commit matricide if your mother was pack a day habit, pill-poppin(xanax addict), self-absorbed, self-centered, attention-seeking, melodramatic, alcoholic with racist tendencies with homophobia?

In ancient rome, if you committed patricide, you’d be sewn into a sack and thrown into a river along with a rabid dog. (and, for some reason, a lobster)

In Rome, it was parricide, killing any close family member. The punishment was being sewn in a sack, presumably leather, and thrown into the water. Supposedly, the sack was to both keep the offender from polluting the waters and to prevent him being cleansed in death and to keep his body from finding repose in the ground. I suspect it was more that it was amusing to watch the efforts to get out of the sack, which was pretty much in line with the sort of things Roman’s found amusing. .Sometimes, various animals were to be included in the sack, most often vipers. I suppose the antics of the condemned dealing with snakes and livestock in the sack with him made it even more entertaining. The sack seems to have been a standard wine sack, which was about like to 55-gallon drums in volume, which must have made for a lively time when the victim had plenty of panicky animal companions. It would have taken quite a time for the sack to sink.

Growing up I was afraid of being arrested for matricide because my mother was always saying “Why are you doing that, you’re killing me!”.

“We all go a little mad sometimes.” (Norman Bates)

Mistress: What you find between a Mister and a Mattress.

Obviously, he was taking about killing a Matrice

Today’s strip totally doesn’t translate to Spanish. The Spanish reads “someone who killed his dreams,” which I suspect falls a bit flat.

J’ suis Sealy…

Think of the mattress’ stuffing as the blood.xxx

pig shouldn’t have a gun. completely out of character. the wrongness is jarring

Pig’s vivid but literal imagination spells no better than Pig himself, providing a fertile field for Cartoon-Boy’s facile puns…. Goat is stoic, not to mention laconic.

Pig will be charged for matricide.

Hate to think what he thinks patricide is.