Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for September 03, 2013

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    Agent54  over 10 years ago

    He can still breath – I see his snoot sticking out of the wall so he is ok.

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    favm  over 10 years ago

    Good job Wiz, three or four feet is a good approximation even in the best GPS.

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    edclectic  over 10 years ago

    Built like a brick wiz house.

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    Harry Grapjas  over 10 years ago

    Wasn’t that what went wrong with one of the Mars lander missions? They confused centimeters with inches?

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    AKHenderson Premium Member over 10 years ago

    Maybe Wiz could do his magic to help the Dallas Cowboys get in the end zone. (Full disclosure: I live 4 miles from the old Texas Stadium.)

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    Troglodyte  over 10 years ago

    Looks like the early experiments with teleportation didn’t get too far!

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    KEA  over 10 years ago

    I saw Superman go through a wall like that by vibrating very rapidly.

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    cdward  over 10 years ago

    He just got splinched!

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    joe piglet Premium Member over 10 years ago

    That’s why they use chimneys and fire places in Harry Potter, KISS.

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    Sportymonk  over 10 years ago

    Shades of “The Philadelphia Experiment” where a battleship teleports and some sailors wound up partially on one side of the deck and partially on the other. Don’t remember much else about it.

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    David Huie Green LosersBlameOthers&It'sYOURfault  over 10 years ago

    Id is not in America

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    sbchamp  over 10 years ago

    He was putting, not driving…sry

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    Skywatcher68  over 10 years ago

    http://www.tabletitans.com/tales/post/blind-teleportation-is-bad-teleportation

    Blind Teleportation is Bad Teleportation Posted by Montgomery Doohan on August 18, 2013

    Our team was just preparing to finish off the first act of a customized version of Ravenloft for the 4th Edition of D&D using the 3.5 books. They had been mowing down all of the zombies in the encounter thus far so I figured the final battle would have a LOT of zombies spread out so they couldn’t just blast ‘em.

    Before they could get to the final battle they had to confront the Priest in the church who had gone mad. They scouted the area using the Rogue’s pet parrot who reported that the Priest was alone at the pulpit.

    A plan began to form and a few minutes later our team’s Cleric strode through the door, casting a light spell in the center of the chapel, and booming out for the abomination to “Stop!”

    At that moment, the team was supposed to crash through the stained glass windows while the Mage rained down Hellfire from the bell tower. Our Avenger, however, was a follower of Pelor, whose temple this was. He didn’t feel right just smashing through, so he asked if he could use an encounter power that lets him teleport when he’s hit or missed by an attack.

    I instantly created a zombie that he missed with his perception check. The zombie made a swing at him that failed in order for him to use his power.

    The Avenger teleported away from the attack (as he was supposed to) and I asked him where he would teleport to. He pointed to a section inside the chapel, but to get there he had to move through a stone wall. I thought it over for a second and asked him to roll a D20.

    He rolled a 1.

    The whole team, knowing how I am with 1’s, let out a collective gasp.

    His arm was now fused with the stone wall just below the shoulder, with his forearm sticking out the other side.

    The team carried on, but all of the zombies both inside and outside noticed that the Avenger was quite helpless. His arm was later torn off from the outside when I rolled a critical hit from the zombie that I had poofed into existence in order for him to teleport in the first place.

    Luckily, the zombie lost interest in everything else since it had this new chew-toy and wandered off.

    After the fight was finished the team began to pray to Pelor to spare their teammate. Pelor granted their boon after they rolled a combined 35 Religion check with just two people rolling it!

    A bright light flashed and when it subsided the Avenger’s arm was no longer stuck in the wall. A 1” piece of stone was left at the stump, preventing him from bleeding to death.

    The story didn’t end there. I wish it did… but it continued…

    Our team’s Mage had Necromantic training and for some unknown reason had been collecting parts from the zombies, ghouls, ghasts, and pretty much everything else he stumbled upon.

    He had a ritual where he could graft these random parts to a teammate.

    I gave it a thought and had the Mage roll Arcana while the Priest rolled Heal and the Avenger rolled Religion.

    All successes.

    The Avenger now had a new, albeit rotted, zombie-ghast-ghoul arm.

    Every so often I have the arm do something it’s not supposed to. It’s rather entertaining for the team and has brought up a few interesting changes to the adventures we are on.

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    tbritt99  over 10 years ago

    That’s gonna leave a mark.

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    Lamberger  over 10 years ago

    >Why would Superman need to vibrate through a wall, when he could just smash through it?

    If I remember right: Supe wanted to set the crook’s clock ahead so that he came out early before the statute of limitations was up on his crime. As far as crashing thru the wall, it may be yet another example of the Dougie Howser Threshold.

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    Hunter7  over 10 years ago

    To paraphase an old adage…Measure twice, teleport once.

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    bkybl Premium Member over 10 years ago

    Nothing on the site has updated tonight.

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