Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 16, 2013

When will Goat stop falling for his malaprops?

“Gee, Pig, since you’re always misusing metaphors, I’ll have to ask directly: when you say ‘to go’, what exactly do you mean? I mean, I’m supposed to be the smart one in the strip, and yet I repeatedly seem to think you’ll use a metaphor properly”

Pig has some terrible grammar, and she won’t go away.

Must be deja vu; I thought PBS had used this very joke before. Pig has not misspoke; Goat has misapprehended.Grandma Pig must go!

♪♫♪♫♪♫

Go, go!Go, Granny, go!Go, go!Go, Granny, go!Go, go!Granny, be gone!

♪♫♪♫♪♫

Peeg, why you no seend Gammy to veesit croks for a while? Promis you dey glad too see her!

stop reading them!!

The Eagles sang about a hotel where Grandma could go!

“We’ve been sneaking Metamucil into her oatmeal all week and she hasn’t gone yet.”

Groan!

Pig is being precise. Others (usually Goat) are making wrong inferences.

If Pig expects her to go, he has no problem, but in the last panel he seems to indicate that they DON’t expect her to go.

I’m surprised Pig hasn’t resorted to “pig in a blanket” jokes.

If you go before you go, then won’t you get there before you leave. THAT can’t be right!

While she still lived in Florida, my daughter was complaining about the old folks that clogged up the grocery aisles and got in the way . . . someone in the family proposed a spray to take care of the problem. Might have been me that suggested it be called it “Gran-B-Gone.” I was old myself, so guess I felt entitled.

I would ask what’s a metaphor, then I remembered that’s where the sheep are kept.

Old Chinese saying: Relatives, like fish, begin to stink after three days.