Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for April 04, 2013
April 01, 2013
April 08, 2013
Transcript:
april is national poetry month! beowulf in under 90 seconds here's a famous poem condensed! king: damn. click the monster grendel is ravaging the country, devouring likewise warriors, maidens, merchants & passersby, effectively slowing the flow of tourist dollars to a thin trickle, much to the consternation of king hrothgar. whap whap comes the hero beowulf, who slays the monster grendel by pulling his (grendel's) arm clean off & slapping him with it fiercely about the head. beo: freeze! beowulf next deals with the monster grendel's mother in a bloody & protracted battle with much potential for cinematic spectacle given the right director (john woo?) & a sufficient budget. the grateful king hrothgar now gives beowulf the hand of his beloved daughter, princess wideload. beowulf opens a hero-themed restaurant where they slaughter the oven right at your table.
Ida No about 11 years ago
The hell with Cliff’s Notes – I want to read Richard’s Poor Notes! Next up: Richard condenses Cliff’s Notes.
Sisyphos about 11 years ago
Yeah; that’s kinda how I remember it….
jack fairbanks about 11 years ago
princess wideload? hilarious! easily as good as any “fractured fairy tale”, and that’s high praise. “monster” chucklationism!
jack fairbanks about 11 years ago
to kiss further glute, art work fabulous
Pickbrain about 11 years ago
Much better than Seamus Heaney’s translation!
barbfrost about 11 years ago
Bravo!
fritzoid Premium Member about 11 years ago
And Hercules’s defeat of the Nemean Lion was a Beowulfean event.
Gilda Blackmore about 11 years ago
Buncha intellectual viewers, your fans, Richard.
fritzoid Premium Member about 11 years ago
Those Thespian lions can be pretty terrifying. Or not, depending on the acting choices:
Bottom: Let me play the lion too: I will roar, that I will do any man’s heart good to hear me; I will roar, that I will make the duke say ‘Let him roar again, let him roar again!’Quince: An you should do it too terribly, you would fright the duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek; and that were enough to hang us all.Snug: That would hang us, every mother’s son.Bottom: I grant you, friends, if that you should fright the ladies out of their wits, they would have no more discretion but to hang us: but I will aggravate my voice so that I will roar you as gently as any sucking dove; I will roar you an ’twere any nightingale.