Agnes by Tony Cochran for January 12, 2013

God wants her to fail.

God was probably nervous about the test too.

God provides the cow. You provide the bucket.

@ Dani Rice

But you still need a lot of ‘pull’ to get the job done !

Leave smoking to Lucifer.

“I’d walk a mile for a Camel”.

I don’t know, I’ll bet Old Testament God has chewed on a few pencils. Probably broken a bunch too. In fact, I bet He’s been known to throw furniture and put His fist through walls.

Just because it came from Heaven doesn’t mean Thomas didn’t use it first, kept doubting his answers on the test. (It wouldn’t be heaven without tests, would it?)-Then on to the latest joke. Well, okay, it’s an old joke:-The city police came to a man’s house, explained it was about to flood so they had a bus to carry him to safety.-He responded, “The Lord will provide.”-They went away to save those who would listen.-Before long the flood had reached his second floor. The Coast Guard came by in a boat, offering to carry him to safety.-Again he confidently assured them, “The Lord will provide.”-A short time later, he was sitting on the roof of his house when a helicopter flew over and lowered a rope. Once again he waved them off, depending on the providence of a loving Lord.-The water rose higher and he finally drowned. Upon reaching Heaven he demanded the Lord explain why He didn’t provide help for him.-The Lord responded, “I SENT A BUS, A BOAT AND A HELICOPTER. HOW MUCH MORE DID YOU WANT?”

If she looked for the Holy Grail, she’d disregard the wooden cup for a golden chalice. And then get even uglier.

Don’t all chewed pencils go to Heaven?