Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 21, 2012
December 20, 2012
December 27, 2012
Transcript:
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling JUDGE SCALIA A Legal Carol After a hard day of dispensing action-packed, two-fisted justice, Judge Scalia is settling in for the night, still full of jurisprudential rage - Judge Scalia: ARGH! Homosexual agenda! Judge Scalia: Bah! I have nothing against homosexuals -- it's the behavior that DEFINES them that we can find morally reprehensible. Judge Scalia: I have nothing against ROBBERS and MURDERERS either...as long as they RESIST robbing and murdering...ZZZZ Ghost: Judge Scalia... Ghost: Judge Scalia, wake up! On this night you have a lesson to learn! Judge Scalia: WHAA?!! Ghost; I'm taking you to another world -- another reality! One in which MOST PEOPLE ARE HOMOSEXUAL, and only a FEW are born with HETEROSEXUAL desires! Ghost: How would you fit in this society, where acting on the way you feel about WOMEN is illegal? Ghost: Would you be able to live in this world? Could you act LEGALLY? Could you MARRY? Judge Scalia: Um...um... GOD HATES HETEROS VOTE NO ON MARRIAGE IS FOR SAME SEXERS Ghost: Okay, I think you learned your lesson. We can go back now. Judge Scalia: Um...um... Ghost: Judge Scalia? Ghost: Well, now I know why he thought of homosexuality as an URGE to be RESISTED... Judge Scalia: WOO-HOO! "Raise" Judicata, boys! The End God Bless Us, Every One
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Linguist over 11 years ago
Methinks the lady doth protest too much !
richardj over 11 years ago
Ellen DeGeneres did this idea a while back on her sitcom, though she didn’t have a “res judicata” pun.
kapock over 11 years ago
Looks like Judge Scalia is going to issue a writ of mandamus! (He’ll take the man, and stop pretending about the damus.)
Christopher Shea over 11 years ago
“The Tool Shed” is indeed a great name for a gay bar.
pumaman over 11 years ago
Daddys, where did I come from? Well kid, we gave my sperm to a nice lesbian and she gave birth to you and gave you back to us. Then I gave her some more sperm so she can have her own kid to keep. All works out nicely!
runar over 11 years ago
Justice Scalia went in for a colonoscopy. They didn’t see any polyps but they did find his brain.
PoodleGroomer over 11 years ago
Are they using Robert Bork for Marley?
sfbleek over 11 years ago
Bork is a LOT heavier
maybeinthenextworld over 11 years ago
I;ve seen many men like Scalia in the places I go and do the things that I do.
Clobbered by Science Premium Member over 11 years ago
.
I once heard someone speculate that some of the most outspoken homophobes who think sexual orientation is a choice are actually gay or bisexual. So they are people who have resisted their homosexual urges to identify as heterosexual. (How happy they are playing straight or whether they slip up or not is a different question.)
Therefore, they think everyone has had those urges and makes a deliberate decision to be gay or straight. The ones who choose to be straight (like them) have made the right decision, while those who are gay have made that choice as a result of being weak, hedonistic, sinful, mentally ill, or all of the above.
ickymungmung over 11 years ago
Sing out Scalia!
Pro-Lick over 11 years ago
What about the world where people are born with constantly hard and full assault rifles as their sex organs? Why are you leaving the NRA out of fantasy worlds? This is another plot by Obama against guns, isn’t it.