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John McPherson makes us howl at his adroit mix of everyday settings and extraordinary events. John’s offbeat, oddball characters turn up in familiar places, but their actions are always hilarious and unexpected.
Interested in a Close To Home Original?
Contact John: john@closetohome.com

Invite John to Speak at Your Organization
Please contact John's Speakers Bureau, The American Program Bureau, to request more information on how to bring John to come speak to your group.
Contact:
Brenda Kane
Senior Agent
Email: bkane@apbspeakers.com
speaking topics and speaker profile for more info on what John speaks about.
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Comments (23) (Please sign in to comment)
celarius
said, 3 months ago
where can you get a casket like that?
cdward said, 3 months ago
As long as I can go into it un-embalmed and without a vault, I’m all for it.
clucky said, 3 months ago
Are worms included ???
Notsoastute said, 3 months ago
@clucky
eventually.
Notsoastute said, 3 months ago
Pile the bodies high at Austerlitz and Waterloo.
Shovel them under and let me work -
I am the grass; I cover all.
And pile them high at Gettysburg
And pile them high at Ypres and Verdun.
Shovel them under and let me work.
Two years, ten years, and passengers ask the conductor:
What place is this?
Where are we now?
I am the grass.
Let me work.
Carl Sandburg
Brisbanekid said, 3 months ago
Caskets, the product of ‘Lawn Doctor’ Funeral Services, Inc.
nighthawks
said, 3 months ago
the worms crawl in
the worms crawl out
in your stomach
and out your mouth…..
Doodlemommie said, 3 months ago
The worms crawl in
The worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
Creniere said, 3 months ago
Why do I have this insatiable desire to go fishing….
orestm said, 3 months ago
Its true! They make bio-caskets: ecoffins.com
There are also biodegradable urns with a seed in them, so that the remains will turn into a tree :
http://bigthink.com/design-for-good/this-awesome-urn-will-turn-you-into-a-tree-after-you-die
littleannoyingdog said, 3 months ago
@ Creniere I have the same feeling.Drown a few worms and down a few cold ones.
dfrechet said, 3 months ago
Look out or the next thing will be a greens fee…..
lcdrlar said, 3 months ago
A true son of the the “Old Sod”.
nazzofoggenmach said, 3 months ago
the “sot” inside will allow the worms to get 100% environmentally drunk.
David Henderson said, 3 months ago
They have made “biodegradable coffins” for years, nothing new. It’s are called “pine box”.