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John McPherson makes us howl at his adroit mix of everyday settings and extraordinary events. John’s offbeat, oddball characters turn up in familiar places, but their actions are always hilarious and unexpected.
Interested in a Close To Home Original?
Contact John: john@closetohome.com

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Please contact John's Speakers Bureau, The American Program Bureau, to request more information on how to bring John to come speak to your group.
Contact:
Brenda Kane
Senior Agent
Email: bkane@apbspeakers.com
speaking topics and speaker profile for more info on what John speaks about.
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Comments (21) (Please sign in to comment)
chireef said, 10 months ago
how come the death march and the wedding march look so much alike?
Hillbillyman said, 10 months ago
@chireef
…because they are they bring on the same results?
Razzilla said, 10 months ago
@chireef
Is the only difference being that the condemned man can smell his own flowers???
DoctorLarryO said, 10 months ago
@chireef
And have you ever noticed that the casket and the wedding dress are just about the same price?
richardkel said, 10 months ago
Interesting comments here today. I could never pick a lobster from the tank like this. I don’t want to meet my meal before I eat my meal.
algurka said, 10 months ago
And if you really over analyze the situation and realize the similarities between lobsters and insects (think: cockroaches), you’ll probably not want to eat another lobster.
cubefarmer said, 10 months ago
@richardkel
I call it part of being a carnivore, you wanna eat it you should be willing to kill it.
Notsoastute said, 10 months ago
So many people do not realize where their food comes from. Except vegans. Me, I’m an omnivore.
richardkel said, 10 months ago
@cubefarmer
I am an ominivore. I eat both meat and plants—I really love my veggies. I understand where the meat comes from, but if I had to kill for it myself, I would probably be a strict vegetarian.
battle of plattsburgh said, 10 months ago
Let’s go shoot a cow, instead.
DaBoogadie said, 10 months ago
Animals are tasty….all of them.
malpot said, 10 months ago
@Razzilla
No, the condemned man on the death march, will be out of his misery before the day is out. The other guy has a life sentence for possibly the next 60 years… the pain is only getting started.
angelfiredragon said, 10 months ago
I actually had some PETA folks tell me to stop eating meat that I was slaughtering myself, cutting up, (deer hunting) and instead I should go buy the stuff from the grocery store where no animals were harmed in the making of meat.
Now are all PETA people this dumb? no…but certain this little bunch was.
Perkycat said, 10 months ago
My grandson killed his first moose last year. It was very hard for me to be the proud grandmother. They do kill for the meat and we just had a delicious roast but
-—flake-67121 said, 10 months ago
@Perkycat
“but”? get over it, he’s one of the few who will grow up right.