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1. 

   Margueritem said, 8 months ago

   Susie, you have kept your cool…

2. 

   cleokaya said, 8 months ago

   Ah a standup comedy routine. Calvin will have plenty of mythology alright.

3. 

   Ivy0730 said, 8 months ago

   Take it easy, Susie, Calvins just doesnt want to bored the presentation.(Calvin does have something in mind, now all the TV he watched start to pay off LOL)

4. 

   Radelape said, 8 months ago

   I smell director’s office.. will it be first time for Susie..?

5. 

   Gweedo Murray said, 8 months ago

   I was going to read Margueritem’s car in profile and then found I didn’t need to. ;~0

6. 

   Gweedo Murray said, 8 months ago

   Prayers of Invocation

   May the road rise up to meet you.
   May the wind be always at your back.
   May the sun shine warm upon your face;
   the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
   may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
   traditional gaelic blessing

   If the road rises up to meet you, you’re fallin’ down drunk.

7. 

   Margueritem said, 8 months ago

   Gweedo Murray says:

   I was going to read Margueritem’s car in profile and then found I didn’t need to. ;~0

   ~ Hee hee, and a happy one to ya!

8. 

   Gweedo Murray said, 8 months ago

   THANKS!

9. 

   Yukoner said, 8 months ago

   Let me add the last two lines to Gweedo’s blessing

   “and may you be half an hour in heaven before the Devil knows you’re dead.”

10. 

    4deerinmyyard said, 8 months ago

    In eighth grade, my well-meaning but remarkably insensitive teacher somehow inveigled me into giving a speech to the assembly of the entire school, about 5,000 students, on some major occasion or other (I forget). In those days I was so unassertive I couldn’t even defend myself to the extent of explaining that, if I was so shy that I couldn’t bear to meet the eyes of close friends, one-on-one, obviously I would never survive having that many people staring at me at one time. The prospect was such a traumatizing nightmare that I literally forgot about it. I couldn’t abide the thought of it, so I apparently acquired a topic-specific amnesia and edited it out of my universe. The morning of the assembly arrived, and my teacher demanded, “Do you have your speech ready?”

    O. M. G.

    From my point of view, this was the first I’d heard of any assembly, or any speech. I had dressed for an ordinary school day. As usual, I was ashamed of my clothes.

    The assembly was to begin in fifteen minutes.

    I wrote the speech. I walked out on the stage. I delivered the speech. I did not collapse. I walked off the stage. I did not die. I had no memory of the experience. I never did have any idea what I had said.

    Everybody said it was a superb performance, although my friends said they could tell I was “a little nervous”.

    I just wish I had been there.

11. 

    4deerinmyyard said, 8 months ago

    In Stranger one Robert A. Heinlein
    Coined “grok”, Martian for the entwine-
    Ment of souls,
    Concepts, and roles;
    But his characters’ athletically and allegorically amatory exploration of the implications of the meme, ending by conflating consumption with consumation, generally crossed a fine line!

    bmonk says: …wasn’t sure that anybody else still remembers such things….

    Geez, guy, where ya been? http://www.heinleincentennial.com/

12. 

    c00k13m0n5t3r said, 8 months ago

    Oh…supposedly here comes a superb tale of daring with our hero Spiff on planet Mercury. Go on, Calvin, we’re all ears.

13. 

    paulojdferreira said, 8 months ago

    He’s “taming” to crowd, gaining extra points. What a political maneuver to… “waste” time.

14. 

    prasrinivara said, 8 months ago

    Or, C00k13m0n5t3r, he’ll have a tale of aliens taking him on a tour of the planet (which will be much like Spiffy’s adventure anyway).

15. 

    txmystic said, 8 months ago

    Just think of Susie as Al Michaels and Calvin as John Madden. I’ll bet Calvin could do wonders with a telestrator…

16. 

    txmystic said, 8 months ago

    Gweedo Murray says:

    If the road rises up to meet you, you’re fallin’ down drunk.

    And you are not truly drunk until you have to keep a firm grip on the ground to keep from falling off the earth…

17. 

    Macushlalondra said, 8 months ago

    I can’t believe he’s going to turn this into a comedy routine. Leave it to Calvin!

18. 

    Groversfather said, 8 months ago

    How unfortunate that Susie’s big mouth and obnoxious voice will only worsen with age. It’s just the way they are!!!

19. 

    Groversfather said, 8 months ago

    My apologies if the truth hurts.

20. 

    DreamScourge said, 8 months ago

    May the wind at your back not be the result of the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch!

    Lol I love it nice logo margueritem ;)

    Personally I think it’s all Susie’s fault, the more you nag someone like Calvin the less he will do, you can’t contain a free spirit, the more you try the less you will hold!

21. 

    Carmy said, 8 months ago

    Susie’s gone all mercurial.

22. 

    wshih24 said, 8 months ago

    It’s not Calvin’s fault, Susie. With Wormwood as a teacher’s name, it’s hard to take her class seriously.

23. 

    DigitalFrog said, 8 months ago

    The mercury is rising…

24. 

    attyush said, 8 months ago

    Oh boy. Mythology is it? psst…Calvin, quick, start talking about Uncle Fester. Ought to be a decent ‘mythology’ character.

25. 

    bmonk said, 8 months ago

    @4deerinmyyard, what can I say? I’ve been in a monastery. Literally. :-)

26. 

    GretchensMom said, 8 months ago

    txmysticPro says:

    Gweedo Murray says:

    If the road rises up to meet you, you’re fallin’ down drunk.

    And you are not truly drunk until you have to keep a firm grip on the ground to keep from falling off the earth…

    I’m ashamed to say it but I’ve been this drunk before. My future b-i-l threw me what seemed like at the time a really GREAT h.s. graduation party. My favorite liquor, cherry vodka, flowed quite freely for me that day. The after-affects of that party, however, WEREN’T so great! I did, indeed, feel like I had to “grab the grass to keep from falling off the earth”. I’m very happy to say that because of that horrible experience at such a young age, I never drank like that again. Twenty-two years later, I hardly drink liquor of any kind at all (well, maybe a mixed fruity, girly drink every now and then but that’s all!). And I’ve NEVER touched cherry vodka again since that day either!!!

27. 

    Wildmustang1262 said, 8 months ago

    Mercury Rising!

    Hey Susie, calm down! Will ya, please? Let Calvin do his presentation about Mercury. Susie’s presentation is good. Let Mrs. Wormwood observe what Calvin’s and Susie’s presentations will be. And then let Mrs. Wormwood decide to give both of them a grade for their researches and presentations.

    Marg and Gweedo, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
    I hate to name each of yours so I would say Happy St. Patrick’s Day to y’all! Enjoy a nice day! :-)

28. 

    grazer said, 8 months ago

    4deerinmyyard—Enjoyed your story and can indentify with it in ways. It also drove me to look up “inveigled”. Once again I learned something useful from reading the comics.

    ………..

    Calvin—Talk fast and take a bow, you’re about to get gaffed.

29. 

    Jay_Dallas said, 8 months ago

    My first year teaching I had a kid just like Calvin. That boy tried my patience to no end - but, God help me, he was my absolute favorite student. I could always count on him to have an off kilter view of whatever we were working on…

30. 

    prasrinivara said, 8 months ago

    wshih24, you ever notice that the teachers in comic strips quite often have very unpleasant names (with equally unpleasant temperaments):

    
    

    
    
    • Miss Wormwood (of Calvin)
    
    
    • Miss Fungus (of Born Loser)
    
    
    • Miss Fishbreath (of Shoe)
    
    

    
    

    Also, the Principal in Calvin has the name of “Spittle”.

31. 

    harry9calvin said, 8 months ago

    I had a speech like this once.
    I had to talk about drunk driving.
    I said that since in 2007 37% of car accidents were because of drunk driving, that obviously they were doing better than the 63% that were sober and crashed.
    You do the math.
    The teacher didn’t really like it.

32. 

    PaulAtreides said, 8 months ago

    calvin’s teacher is named after a star… too bad it was “Wormwood”

33. 

    Leonardeuler said, 8 months ago

    Considering all Susie had to go through, I think she deserves an A++ for this project. As to Calvin, he should merele get a Z (zero).

34. 

    Leonardeuler said, 8 months ago

    Considering all Susie had to go through, she really deserves an A++. As to Calvin, he should merely get a Z (zero).

35. 

    Margueritem said, 8 months ago

    Wildmustang: The same to you!

36. 

    Margueritem said, 8 months ago

    DreamScourge: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

37. 

    Tabby Lynn said, 8 months ago

    i would kick him HARD!

38. 

    Burgundy2 said, 8 months ago

    4deerinmyyard - that is a truly remarkable experience you related. I was easily as shy as you in my youth (still am - shy that is, not young) and fortunately never had to experience what you did. But it’s amazing what the brain can do in self preservation.

    To Gweedo (from a lady proud of her Irish ancestry) “An Irishman is never drunk if he can hold a blade of grass without falling off the face of the Earth.”

39. 

    Cameloo said, 8 months ago

    Susie, Calvin is just trying to wake up your audience.

40. 

    The Swordfish said, 8 months ago

    Have any one of you noticed that Calvin’s class does too advanced stuff for 1st grade?

41. 

    Tabby Lynn said, 8 months ago

    by the way margueritem welcome back missed you on here the last few days.

42. 

    bmonk said, 8 months ago

    BTW 4deerinmyyard, a kind person did help me out of my confusion. I remembered “grok”, but I also remembered “Grooks”, pithy poems with associated drawings by the Dane Piet Hein. So I was nearly right. Not bad for something I had not thought about in some 30 or so years.

43. 

    bmonk said, 8 months ago

    Oh, and 4deerinmyyard, I can sympathize with your story. I was never quite that shy, but I can easily imagine it happening. :-(

44. 

    allyheartz said, 8 months ago

    Why does Ms.Wormwood sound so familliar? I think it’s from a children’s book… something from Roald Dahl, perhaps?

45. 

    Margueritem said, 8 months ago

    tabbylynn: Thank you. I was sick with an intestinal virus, and even looking at the computer for more than a little bit made my head hurt even worse. Doing much better now. :-)

46. 

    Gweedo Murray said, 8 months ago

    Happy St. Pats Day Wildmustang and Burgundy. Got sum blarney in me too, or is that b’lony ? Didn’t know you were sick marg. Glad you’re doing better.

47. 

    krisch said, 8 months ago

    and now… welcome the sensational new stand-up act in town.. CALVIN!!!!!!!

48. 

    aciluvhorses said, 8 months ago

    i luv calvin & hobbes

49. 

    howlindawgs said, 8 months ago

    prasrinivara says:
    wshih24, you ever notice that the teachers in comic strips quite often have very unpleasant names (with equally unpleasant temperaments):

    Miss Wormwood (of Calvin)

    Miss Fungus (of Born Loser)

    Miss Fishbreath (of Shoe)

    Also, the Principal in Calvin has the name of “Spittle”.

    -Not to mention Bart Simpson’s teacher, Ms. Krabappel.
    BTW, back in my reckless college days our description of being that drunk was when you had to put one foot on the floor to keep from spinning out of bed!