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Basic Instructions started out as a small side-feature Scott Meyer created to entertain people who came to his website looking to hire a comedian. It wasn't long before the comic was far more popular than anything Scott ever did as a comedian.
Basic Instructions is a series of guides meant to help you lead a better life. They cover topics as diverse as "How to Deal with Boredom" and "How to Travel Back in Time to Deliver a Dire Warning to Your Former Self". Basic Instructions is populated with exaggerated versions of Scott, his family and his friends, which has caused no small amount of unpleasantness.
Read the Basic Instructions blog
Questions or comments? E-mail the author.
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Comments (18) (Please sign in to comment)
briatollah said, 2 months ago
When I was a kid other kids would tell me “Quit usin’ them big ol’ words an’ talkin’ all smart.”
Years later I realized that it was only the stupid people teling me to quit “talkin’ all smart”.
Tirasmol
said, 2 months ago
I actually know people like this … that’s probably more of a reflection on me than on them though.
jukeofurl said, 2 months ago
I’ve been criticized for using big words & er, um smaller w/say only 4 letters(+/-). The latter provoking the phrase -“only those with limited vocabulary use. . ..” Both complaints are specious. Abe Lincoln had a saying about pleasing people that fits. And I have one too – “f*** them.”
Pacopuddy said, 2 months ago
@jukeofurl
“. . . and the horse they rode in on!”
A friend of mine (a research something-biologist) was criticised for using technical scientific terms when presenting her research at a departmental meeting.
“Why can’t you use words we can understand?”
“I thought I was.”
Coyoty
said, 2 months ago
Understanding what offends some people only encourages me to offend them furthermore.
Michael Ford said, 2 months ago
“Ratio” barely has three syllables. I mean, you don’t say "ray-show.‘’ “Family,” however, is a stretch. Doesn’t everyone pronounce it, “famly?”
MrJimCos said, 2 months ago
My oldest son has a voluminous vocabulary, and isn’t afraid to use it. One day after one of his bloviated rants, I asked him why he talked like that. He replied “Because I like the use of intelligent words.” To which I asked “Wouldn’t a better goal be the intelligent use of words?”
He merely grunted.
paha_siga said, 2 months ago
Doesn’t “another” have three syllables?
LizardPriest said, 2 months ago
This comic exudes deja vu … or as I would say to this guy … has stuff we all seen before.
jimmyh43105
said, 2 months ago
Pure gold as usual!
ekw said, 2 months ago
well, I have to admit – it threw it off when the lunkhead used “inefficient”.
kaecispop said, 2 months ago
What a moron! (That is only two syllables)
The Wolf In Your Midst said, 2 months ago
@ekw
Yeah, that’s four whole syllables! He should’ve said “wasteful”.
Night-Gaunt49 said, 2 months ago
Just about anyone I knew, including my Mother, wanted me to speak like other people. I said “no” that words are there to say something and to add nuance. Anti-intellectualism, it is still alive and will in this benighted country.
The Wolf In Your Midst said, 2 months ago
@Night-Gaunt49
It’s stories like that that make me grateful that my mother encouraged me to learn all that I could- and to put that knowledge to use whenever and however I could.